"The Amount of Something That is Permitted"

Once upon a time I was in my apartment alone. Well, one of my roommates was there, but she was still sleeping. Anyway, I was about to go back upstairs when I saw the worst of things - a spider. On the wall right by the stairs. Where I could have come close to touching it had I missed the spider. It was awful.

Backing up a bit, for a clearer background and explanation. I am deeply, terribly, irrationally afraid of spiders. Ask anyone. It's bad. For a much better description of just how bad this phobia of mine is, refer to this. That's how I feel. Minus the killing those little demons myself. That would require too much closeness between myself and the thing. Also, I am afraid of baby spiders with birth defects.

And we're back.

I had no idea what to do. There I am, sitting on the back of the couch staring the thing down (if you look away for even a second they could run off and BE ANYWHERE). A couple times I felt a surge of confidence and bravado and tried to convince myself that I was capable of killing the spider.

But then it moved. And that's not okay. They're twenty times creppier when they're moving. Just saying.

So I texted my sister (who I knew was at work and couldn't help), but she suggested texting her roommates. And like the pathetic being that I am, I did.

Long story short, the spider died in a glorious struggle between woman/shoe and beast.

Moral of the story: If the guy I'm dating won't kill any and every bug, but especially spiders, he is not the guy for me. This is a fairly ridiculous thing to be particular about. There are probably more important things that could be on my "list." But I need that to be part of the deal.

Moral of the story (part two): I'll go into more depth about this in subsequent posts because this is something I'm very passionate about. Have standards for dating. Never sell yourself short, and never compromise the essentials. But you have to allow people their quirks; what I like to call making allowances. More than that, you have to let people be flawed. Let go of the fact that he didn't put the toilet seat down or that he hates your favorite flavor of ice cream or that she sheds like a dog.

Let her cower at baby spiders with birth defects.

What's Your Type?

That's actually a more complicated question than you may realize, at least scientifically speaking. Most people automatically answer with physical characteristics they find attractive, but that's only part of what initially makes the sparks fly. Subsequent posts will go into more details about each of the basic elements (field of eligibles, physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, and reciprocity of attraction) that are involved in the formation of a relationship, but for now, enjoy this ridiculous, but entertaining Buzzfeed quiz.

Apparently my type is "the babe" and eye candy makes me feel dandy...

When Your Best Friend Gets Married

So, Karah (name adjusted) is not the first person I met when I came to school, and she wasn't the second. But she was near the top and she also became one of my favorite people and she's one of my best friends.

Also, she's getting married today.

She's not the first of my friends to get married (some of my friends who are my age have babies for pizza's sake), but she's the first one who is my close friend and roommate and stuff.

The point of this post is an outlet for me to freak out a little bit. Oh, and I guess to also give advice about how to bridesmaid. According to the internet my duties as a bridesmaid includes things like:

-"Stand in the receiving line at the bride's request." 

-"Accompany bride on visits to the restroom, if asked."

-"Try not to complain about the bridesmaids dress, even if the color is horrendous."

-"Be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner." 

But so far it seems like my duties include:

-"Don't stand in the receiving line. Instead be the designated food bearer for when the bride and groom have to screw on smiles and receive people."

-"Swallow your anxiety and dance with people."

-"Swallow your anxiety and talk with people."

-"Ensure that the bride never feels lonely by offering to move in to the closet in her soon-to-be new apartment."

-"Call dibs on a groomsmen as soon as possible. #futureMrs.Kowski"

-"If the maid of honor can't come to town until the actual wedding, plan the bachelorette party and MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE that there is sufficient amounts of Spongebob."

But most importantly, when your best friend gets married, and you're a bridesmaid, and you don't have a plus one, tell her how happy you are for her. And give her a giant hug.

Congratulations, Karah and Jayson! I am so excited for you!!

What Even is this Blog?

Background story:

The other night I'm hanging out with my sister, let's call her Sara, talking about all things relationships - past boys, who's our "types," and the like. Later that night, as I'm sitting on the couch in my apartment, having watched two of my roommates leave to be with boys basically as soon as I walked through the door (one was to break things off with a boy, let's call her Bekah, and the other for a first date, how about her name's Lacy), I decide I want a giant bowl of ice cream and some Netflix. And I contemplate what it would be like to be giddy for a date or to have a boy to break things off with, so I decide to make my next subject of study, "Social Interactions, Chapter: 1 What it is to "know" boys, Section 1: How to Go From 'What Even is a Boy?' to Introducing Yourself Without Having Even One Panic Attack."

All of this is a summary of a text I sent Sara that night. Which then turned into a conversation with Bekah. Which then turned into her convincing me to make this blog.

But, really. Regardless of my perpetually single state of being, I am often a go-to adviser for friends when it comes to boys. Probably because I enjoy studying this kind of stuff.

Putting it into practice is another story. So, I guess this blog is more for me than for anyone else. Maybe organizing what you know about dating and relationships and boys in general will make it easier to introduce yourself without having even one panic attack.

Also, DISCLAIMER:

1) My opinions are just that, opinions. I know some of my views don't coincide with popular opinion. Don't feel like you have to agree with me. Do feel like you have to be nice about it.

2) I will always try to make my views based on actual research, but just know that a vast majority also stem from personal religious beliefs. I'm LDS (Mormon), and there will be a lot of material here specifically relating to that. So, thanks for being considerate.